The Wind in Your Sails

My blog post today is more of a personal story than it is a reflection on resources, strategies, or concepts. I want to show my readers that I, too, have my own struggles as a teacher. No doubt that challenge, struggle, and therefore resilience are all synonymous with what we do and the passion in our hearts for education, but sometimes... we fall. The key is to get up, better than before and continue forward. 

Although I'm grateful for my experiences thus far in my career, various opportunities, and an amazing network of teachers (thank you especially to KDP for that!) I often feel... stuck. I smile thinking of the meme "there are two types of teachers" with the picture of the messy art cabinet, and the perfectly organized one. Those who know me well can attest that I could probably make the organized cabinet look messy if I had to... after all, I love a challenge! But for me, I'm always looking head at what's next for me. I am a perfectionist (as many are) and always wanting more from my career, and myself. My mind is always occupied with what can I do continue to grow, learn, and develop my craft? With that, where do I turn for this, and how do I go about doing it. 

It takes a lot for me to admit my "human" side, as I make every effort to make it subdued. But truthfully, that is how I've been feeling since yesterday. A famous cliché notes that hindsight is 20/20, and I do not disagree with that at all. I've always known my answer to a trivia question of: If you could go back to any year what would it be? For me this would either be 2008, or at minimum, 2014 so I could make a better plan for myself professionally. Close loved ones tell me that since I was not given the gift of a crystal ball there's no way I could've known certain things and how others would be affected from specific circumstances, and I did my best. And you know what? They are exactly right! I do feel personally responsible however for attempting to put other things as a forefront priority in the past when now, they are actually not relevant to me in the present, or my future. 

One re-occurring theme I often paint with here in my blogs is that we as teachers are always harder on ourselves than anyone else. It's easy for us to offer forgiveness to our students, their families, colleagues, and peers, but when it comes to forgiving the person in the mirror... different story all together. I admit learning to forgive myself and move on is a skill I continue to work on daily, however difficult it may be. My eagerness to keep going with my work is at a bursting point and makes me anxious (I cannot sit idle here!) But I also want to be aware of all the information possible before making decisions for "what's next" for me so I can make the best choices I can. This has been the heavyweight recently.

Lately, I've felt like the wind has been knocked out of my sails. Yes, here I am in the middle of a beautiful blue ocean, and well, I can't move forward. I realized though that advice from others, although necessary, is not what will make the wind strike up again, but it's my own ideas and decisions that will. I took time today to think and decided that I will not ignore how I feel, however, I will channel that, be the captain of my own ship, and sail it how I best see fit. Wrong choices or right, I will find my way out on this sea because well, I have no other recourse and I am determined to make it no matter how daunting. 

So my point in sharing this short, no sparkle-and-shine post today my friends is this: If you are feeling the same way, please know you are not alone. It's so important for teachers to stick together and support one another. We should not be on opposite teams, but rather one another's coach that inspires and encourages. If we can do that for our students, we can do that for each other! 

Likewise for my new teachers out there... find a veteran teacher and hold on tight! You need experienced mentors in your life that has "walked the walk" and can offer you suggestions early. I realize that one of my favorite aspects of teaching is helping early educators see the possibilities they have and hopefully help them avoid identical pitfalls I've tripped into. It keeps the bigger picture in perspective, drives us toward our ultimate goal of being the best version of ourselves for our students and communities, and offers a support system that is unmatched. 

Final Thoughts: keep reflecting and deciding, keep using your PLN (professional learning network) for advice, keep your goals in mind, keep offering yourself forgiveness, and trust your spirit to guide you toward what you want, and let the wind in your sails navigate you there always.